


This isn't a scene

by JaimeImpala



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, F/M, I'm new to this so give me some slack please !, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 19:43:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20377060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaimeImpala/pseuds/JaimeImpala
Summary: On the road to the lonely Mountain tensions run high . Assuming Kili is the least experienced and callow , he becomes the object of most of the company's jokes and teasing . But it goes too far and Kili is keeping a lot of secrets .





	1. Chapter 1

Kili was the youngest dwarf to be on the quest. At first, he didn't mind, but as the weeks passed he began to. Thorin would always assign him the worst chores, which he honestly didn't mind nearly as much as the teasing that went with it. 'Go and watch tho ponies, Kili. Fili go and hunt us something for dinner '. When he would volunteer to hunt as well Thorin would sigh and some other company members would laugh.

What did they think he carried the bow for? Decoration? It pissed him off at first, but after a while, he got used to it. He got used to being called ' greenhorn ' and 'stripling ' those were honestly the best of the names they ' jokingly ' called him.

Before the company, he hadn't seen any of its dwarf members for several years. Fili had been with their uncle training and later becoming a part of his expeditions since he was in his mid-thirties. Not that he hadn't seen him since then, but he really couldn't say he knew his brother anymore. He was different, they both were.

To be honest, he didn't know any company members too well. They hadn't been a part of his life and he hadn't a part of theirs. A lot of them had been around when he was a young child, but they had gone their own ways after that.

It wasn't his fault he didn't know them. When he had been in Ered Luin none of them came to see him and after he left Ered Luin no one could probably ever find him, not that they tried. It was a fluke that he was even on the quest. He had been visiting his mother when Thorin came to her house. He asked Kili to be on the quest and Ta-Da! Here he was.

  
He missed his friends sometimes, but he never complained. How could he? He'd been through worse and a little teasing was a mild annoyance in comparison.

  
" We are making camp here," Thorin announced, stepping down from his pony. " Dori and Nori, scout the perimeter. Fili, come and look at the map with me then go and hunt. Bofur, Bombur, make dinner. Kili, fetch the water. "

  
"And try to not get lost! " Dwalin called after him and laughter echoed around him.

  
Kili sighed inwardly, but merely gripped the bucket and walked on. He instantly knew someone was following him but made no move to acknowledge the fact.

  
It was not until he was filling the bucket with water that Bilbo made himself known.

  
"Kili ?"

  
" Yes, Mr. Boggins ?" He asked teasingly and Bilbo smiled, knowing he was just teasing.

  
" Aren't you Thorin's nephew? "

  
Kili paused. Bilbo had chosen Kili as his friend rather early on in their travel, deciding he was the safest to ask questions. But this question sounded different, somehow.

  
" Yes, I am Bilbo, can't you see the resemblance? " The last sentence was phrased with a humorous tone, he really hoped there wasn't a similarity between them. Not that he didn't respect his uncle, he just didn't aspire to be his uncle.

  
" Then why does he treat you differently than he treats Fili? "

  
" I am just the spare, my dear hobbit. I have no real use except as a backup, " he continued filling the bucket and stood when it was full. He turned and found Bilbo giving him a sad look. " Come along, Bilbo! Before Bombur eats all the food! "

  
They returned to camp and sat down to wait for dinner. Fili returned empty-handed, saying there was no game near. There was, Kili had seen the evidence of game on his walk back to camp, but he said nothing.

  
"Well if you cannot find it then there is surely none, " Bofur said and everyone chorused their agreement except Bilbo, Kili, and Gandalf, who was staring off into the distance.

  
Kili and Bilbo got their food last, as usual, and sat down to eat.

  
" Thanks, Bofur," Kili said to the nearby dwarf. " It's good."

  
Bofur smiled then took a bit of stew. " I 'ave been comp'minted by the greenhorn, my soul can now rest!"

  
Kili smiled back, but it did not reach his eyes.

  
" Hey, brother! " Fili plopped himself down opposite him.

  
For some mysterious reason, Fili acted as if they were close when they weren't. He really knew next to nothing about his brother's life, except the many adventures he chose to share.

  
" Fili," Kili took another bite.

  
"You look tired little brother, was finding the water hard ?" He teased and Kili resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

  
" Yes, Fili. It was the hardest thing I have ever set out to do, it was like searching a desert for a spring. "

  
Fili blinked at him in surprise, not used to the sarcasm. Silence spread between them, only broken by the noises of eating.

" So, how much journeys have the two of you been on together ?" Bilbo asked to break the silence.

  
Fili opened his mouth to speak but Kili beat him to it.

  
" This will be the first. "

  
Fili gave him an odd look, thinking about what he wasn't sure, but at the moment he didn't care to ask.

  
"Not to mention your first ever !" Nori called from nearby and Kili tried to ignore the snicker it elicited.

It really wasn't his first journey or even quest, but he said nothing.

He didn't finish eating. His stomach not enjoying the laughter that surrounded him, usually at his or Bilbo's expense.

When night fell, he and Bilbo were given the first watch. It was an uneventful watch and Bofur and Nori took over without issue.


	2. Chapter 2

Thorin was a very troubled dwarf, he worried constantly about something or other. But what he worried the most about was his company. All their lives were on his shoulders and that was a heavy-weight to carry. There were some members of the company he didn't have to worry about, Dwalin, Fili, Balin, Gloin...Basically, everyone he had fought with and knew he could trust with his life. Not to say he did not trust the others, but he felt more responsible for them. Bofur was a toymaker for pity's sake. What did a toymaker know of fighting? At least he had some experience on the road, which was more than he could say for his own nephew ... He loved Kili, still being able to remember him as a chubby little dwarfling, but he knew he was inexperienced. He hadn't even wanted to actually bring him but his sister had told him that if he wanted to bring Fili he had to bring Kili too, so he had.

He knew he had missed a lot of Kili's life in comparison to Fili's, but he didn't regret it. His nephew had the opportunity to have a normal childhood and he didn't regret giving him that. And he never would. 

"Thorin," Dwalin broke him out of his pondering.

" Yes ?" 

"Ready to head out? " 

" Is everyone ready? " Looking around, he could see that almost everyone was ready to leave, barring Gandalf who was taking his time over breakfast. They had learned rather early on that Gandalf did everything at his own pace so had decided to leave him alone and let him either catch up or go on ahead, depending on his mood. 

" Let's get going! " Swinging on the back of his own horse, he led the way out of the clearing.

It was a fairly easy day traveling, which is why everyone was surprised it ended so terribly. They never saw it coming.

Around lunchtime, they took a break to eat and stretch their legs. Dori preoccupied himself with his brothers, as always, braiding their hair and fussing over their clothes. Gloin and Oin were talking of Ered Luin and little Gimli, who had to be left behind, Dwalin was sparring with Fili, Bofur and Bombur were cooking, Bifur was doing _something_, and Balin and Thorin were talking. Bilbo and Gandalf were taking a short walk around the camp and, lastly, Kili was sharpening his sword off on his own.

It was Fili who called to Kili first. 

" Kili, brother, come spar with us! " 

Looking up, Kili met his brother's eye. " No thanks, I'd rather not ."

"Why, are you scared?" Dwalin goaded and Kili sighed. 

"No," Kili set aside his wet stone, " The sword isn't my best weapon and I'd prefer not to be humiliated ."

"That's going to happen no matter what weapon you choose, " Nori put in helpfully, escaping his brother's comb.

Trying to contain his temper, Kili swallowed his anger down and instead just shrugged. " I just really don't feel like sparring today ."

" Is that what you are going to tell the orcs? "Thorin put in sternly, " when they come and try to spill your offal, sorry I just don't feel like it today." 

Sighing again Kili stood and lifted his sword, walking over to where Dwalin and Fili were, he came to halt. Clapping his shoulder enthusiastically, Filii took a stance opposite him and readied his sword.

"Ready brother? "

" Whenever you are ." 

Without warning, Fili lunged himself at Kili. Easily evading his brother, Kili blocked two side cuts and threw in a thrust. The thrust caught Fili off guard, especially since thrusting that early in a spar was not a very commonly used technique. Trying to catch Kili off guard by assaulting him with non-stop side cuts and under-cuts, Fili advanced steadily while Kili evaded and parried his attack.

"Come on Fili, nock down the lightweight! You've killed orcs with more skill! " Shouted Dwalin helpfully and this time Kili did actually roll his eyes.

"Really Dwalin !" He called, "Isn't that a bit harsh ?" 

At that moment, being slightly distracted, Kili allowed Fili much too close and Fili took advantage of that. Swinging his sword Fili almost caught Kili in the side and he just managed to evade it. Laughter spread throughout the clearing and at that moment something clicked in Kili's mind. He began moving and attacking with only muscle memory and suddenly everything made sense. _The smell of blood and sweat was prevalent around him as the sound of battle rose higher and higher into the atmosphere. The sword was not his most lethal weapon yet he knew in his hands it was just as deathly as in his most powerful adversary's. His body connected with the blade-like it was an extension of himself as if it was his own bone instead of steel. The battle around him became a thrum in the distance, like his beating heart_, _and he became enveloped in the fluidity of it. _

It was the screaming that broke him out of his daydream-memory. It was Thorin screaming his name as he seemed to awaken from a dream and come face to face with his uncle. Thorin was standing opposite him, blade drawn, with Ocrist meeting his own blade as if Thorin was parrying a blow. Behind Thorin lay Fili, a cut across his face and a shocked expression making Kili feel as if he was the cause of it.

Lowering his sword, Kili looked around himself cautiously. The company surrounded him, several with their weapons drawn, and at least four of them looked as if they had just been in a fight. 

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT! YOU ALMOST KILLED YOUR BROTHER AND ATTACKED HALF THE COMPANY WHEN THEY TRIED TO STOP YOU !" Thorin shouted, closing in on him. 

"What?"Kili frowned. He was about to say it had never happened before but as he looked around at the shocked and slightly scared faces of the company he couldn't bring himself to lie, so he said nothing further.

"YOU BETTER HAVE A REASON OR SO HELP ME MAHAL I WILL ...." Thorin didn't get to finish his threat given Gandalf interrupted.

" Thorin, even I could see that the poor dwarf was not himself. Perhaps it was Dwalin's goading or the fight itself, but it was obvious he lost control ."

''He lost m're than control 'e lost 'is mind '' Bofur added helpfully and Kili felt as if his theoretical walls were falling apart. '' Doesn't ma'er if he was conscious or no', we can' 'ave 'im losin' control like that .''

''Are you alright ?''Kili stepped toward Fili but Thorin blocked his way.

''Kili, ''Thorin's voice was harsh as he spoke,'' has this happened before ?''

Looking Thorin in the eye, Kili couldn't bring himself to tell a falsehood.

''Not for a while, it is not a common occurrence .''

Thorin stared at him for a few seconds before asking.

''Is that why you didn't want to spar ?''

_Not really but hey! Never look a gift horse in the mouth!_ Kili nodded and Thorin seemed to think for a minute before saying,'' go and fetch some firewood, I need to think this over .''

Kili did as he was told, feeling eyes burning into his back as he walked away.

At this point, the day was turning out to be less than great, but it was just about to get worse.

Kili was an expert at stealth so he did what any self-respecting dwarf would do and walked away from the campsite before circling back and getting close enough to hear what was being said.

''He almost killed Fili !'' That was Dwalin.

'' Not intentionally,'' Gandalf pointed out.

'' Does it matter if it was intentional or not? He did it!'' Dwalin again. 

'' How could he not have control? It doesn't make any sense," Dori.

''It has happened to others though, so why not Kili? '' Balin, thankfully with a more positive outlook. 

''We'll have to watch him more closely now, ''Gloin sighed, '' Can't have him putting himself or us in danger .''

'' On the bright side,'' Bilbo put in almost too cheerfully, ''you do know he's good with a blade .''

''I really do hope he's not a sleepwalker,'' said Ori quietly and there was an extended silence.

''Kili said it was a rare occurrence,'' Fili defended his little brother, ''And we did push him .''

''Still, yet it's a danger and a liability,'' Thorin said at last. ''We cannot risk this quest with one man. We do not know how he will react and thus he cannot go further with us .'' 

''But Uncle !'' Fili began but was cut off.

'' This is as much for his safety as ours .'' And Thorin's word was final.

''So now what? We just tell him he's out and leave him? ''

''No Fili, of course not. The next habitable establishment we come to will be where we part ways .''

Kili couldn't hear anymore after that, too upset to stick around, so he took off walking again with no intention of coming back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still trying so please tell me what you think !


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, yall! I made it through the first week of college and I am alive!..........Mostly. Sociology has me beat.

Kili was not angry. He knew there were things about him the company wouldn't accept. He just hadn't expected them to come to light so soon. 

'_Kili,' Ovren approached him, blood still dripping from his sword .' Most of the goblins have been wiped out of the western tunnel but the eastern bastards have fled like the bloody cowards they are.'_

_ 'Good, you and Jiilu head into the west-most tunnels and look for the maps, Jariid and I will head after the eastern strays and see if we can't procure a live one', cleaning off his knife on the hem of his cloak, Kili looked toward the horizon,' We have a ways to go yet before we can reach the east cove of Harad, and we only have so long to get there.'_

_ 'Where do you want to meet?'_

_ 'We'll meet you at dusk ten miles south at the Lone Hill,'Kili said,' don't do anything stupid or I'll have to do something stupider.'_

_ 'Logic,' replied Ovren, smirking._

_ 'You bet.' grinned Kili in return before turning and beginning his hunt._

Kili remembered the days of his roaming quite clearly, mainly because they hadn't been that long ago. His adventures had been interesting and exciting, with blood and mayhem in equal proportion. It left him different than he used to be, but in a way, he appreciated. He would never view the world the same but it felt like he had just opened his eyes to what it was really like. Thorin could keep with his company if thirteen, he had sworn off adventures anyway after what happened two years ago. He had made a promise to himself that he would never let anything like that happen again.

Continuing to walk south at a steady pace, he made steady progress and had gone quite a way by nightfall. He made camp near the bank of a river and ate the dried meat that was in his satchel before laying down and trying to sleep. It did not come easily to him, given nervous energy was coursing through his veins. He wondered why Thorin would invite him along if he was so ready to be rid of him so easily.

Oh well, he would just go back to his mothers and purge those drasted rabbits that kept eating her garden.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. The next one will probably be a flashback to explain some stuff, and yes, there will be more character development.

Kili had been gone for nearly two weeks, which were the most stressful and worrisome weeks of Fili's life. His little brother was out there somewhere and he couldn't get to him to see if he was okay or check on his wellbeing. If anyone was more miserable than him, though, it was his Uncle. Thorin had been the one to call off the search after four days, Bilbo still hadn't forgiven him for it nor was likely to, and Fili knew his Uncle felt responsible. It wasn't just his fault though, it was all of their faults. They had goaded him and he had more than likely heard their last words about him.  
But they still had to carry on, so carry on they did. With heavy regretful hearts.

\--------------------------------  
Kili trudged, his eyes sharp as he scanned his surroundings. He knew where he was, had tracked orcs deep into these same mountains, but it felt different from the last time he was there. The air felt darker, more sinister and he felt a chill run up his spine. He turned around suddenly, drawing his now back, arrow ready to fire. His eyes met the cold blue gaze of an old for.

  
"Azog."

  
"Red Raven, where's the wolf pack?" The orc sneered in black-speech.

  
"You know very well, orc," answered Kili in the same tung.

  
"Does it pain you to know that the people to betray you were not the ones you were fighting but those you trusted? You barely made it out alive," Azog laughed cruelly, a madness twinkling in his eyes.

  
"Would you prefer this arrow to go through your head or your chest?" Kili bit back and the orcs laughter rang louder in the clearing.

  
''It hurts to know the only thing that saved your hide was your own cowardice, doesn't it?"

  
Kili went to release the arrow but the orc held up his hand.

  
"I have a proposal for you, the men you want to exact your revenge upon are in my grasp. I'll let you have them, each and every one of them if you help me with one thing."

  
"What?"

  
"Finding Oakenshield."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, y'all. It's been a hard month, but I finally got a new one up! Also soooooooooooooo not canon...

Thorin trudged in front of the company, the perilous trail of the Misty Mountains barely registering as he stared out into the blue sky. Dwalin marched behind him, bulky body hunched with the same weight the entire company, barring Bilbo and Gandalf, carried. They knew it was their fault, they just didn't expect the guilt to be so crippling. Kili, the youngest and most inexperienced member of the company, was out in the wilderness with very little to survive on. The dwarfling had probably already died, starved to death or fallen to a wild bear or warg. There wasn't much that could be done at this point, but that still didn't stop his growing guilt. The burglar wouldn't even talk to him, his nephew having grown quite close to the hobbit before his demise. Dis had said Kili could handle himself, but he obviously couldn't. The lad had obviously inherited some of Thrain's madness, poor dwarfling. The more Thorin thought about how effortlessly Kili had staved them off, how easily he had fallen into the madness and been consumed by it, the more guilty he felt. Because the lad wasn't _that good_ with the blade, so there could be no other explanation.

''Are we going to wait for Gandalf to join us?'' Bilbo asked, speaking for the first time since Rivendale. 

''No, master Baggins, we are going to continue on till we make it through these accursed mountains,'' Thorin didn't intend for his voice to be that harsh, but it was. Bilbo closed his mouth, eyes hard, and looked away. Thorin sighed. ''Fili?''

''Yes?'' Fili lifted his head from staring at the ground where he had been walking behind Dwalin.

''Scout ahead and find us some shelter.''

''Yes uncle.'' 

* * *

That night was a hard one for the company, what with the rock giants and seemingly endless storm. They were all, apart from Thorin, gathered together for their evening meal, waiting for the end of another hard day. It was Balin who broke the silence first. 

''I think we should stop thinking about Kili, all of us are being weighed down by his memory and we need to stay strong as a group.''

''You speak as if he is already dead,'' Fili growled around his bread crust. 

''Fili,'' Dwalin laid a heavy hand on the prince's shoulder, ''we all know the chances of an inexperienced youth surviving in the wilderness.'' 

''Mother wouldn't have wished him to come if she didn't know he could handle himself,'' Fili swallowed and shrugged off Dwalin's hand.

There was a silence as the other company members exchanged glances than continued eating.

''What?'' Fili bit out, his tone making Bilbo flinch. 

''It's just that,'' Dori paused as Fili stared him down, but then he took a deep breath and continued. ''I think Lady Dis had other intentions than aiding Thorin. If I am correct, it has been years since either you or your uncle has seen the younger prince. I think Lady Dis was perhaps just trying to strengthen the strained bond?''

Fili was quiet as he thought. He remembered his mother's letters, asking him to come home, to visit her and his little brother, but he never had. Perhaps Dori was right. 

''I've been a poor brother,'' he sighed, rubbing the crease between his eyebrows. ''I don't even know him.''

''Don't lay all the blame on y're should'rs,'' Bofur said, ''It was all of us that drove 'im off. You didn't do anythin' the rest of us didn' 'elp you with.'' 

''Kili was kind,'' Bilbo put in, ''he made me feel welcome and now I shan't see him again.'' He pushed his bowl away and stood up, walking to the cave entrance to stand and stare at the rain. 

''We were all a bit unkind, to Kili and Bilbo. And now we shall not be able to make it up to one of them,'' Balin was upset and his lip trembled under his beard. 

They all knew there would be no forgiveness if there was no-one to forgive them.

* * *

_Kili, Jariid, Ovren, Lachlain, Medow, and Neicho ghosted the edges of their enemies camp, ready to launch into a surprise attack. The eastern traitors were feasting, despite their recent retreat, they were celebrating the death of the men of Harad's leader, Oaklean. _ _ The Wolf Pack was employed by their long-time friend Jacuise, prince of Harad, to fend off the eastern invaders and their unholy union with goblins. Kili, the Red Raven, was the leader of the endeavor with Ovren and Medow as his right-hand men and woman. _

_ Creeping forward, Kili raised a gloved hand, trusting that Jacuise's men were behind him and his companions. They charged as one, Kili and the Wolf Pack in front with Jacuise's men behind them. But just like that everything fell apart. With a grunt of pain, Ovren fell to the ground, an arrow protruding from the back of his knee. That didn't make sense, the eastern invaders were in front of them. How could they hit Ovren from behind? Unless..._

_ Kili turned around, but not fast enough. An arrow hit him in the shoulder while another perforated his calf. _

_ Jacuise had betrayed them. _

_ All of the Wolf Pack was down, but they weren't done fighting. Lachlain was the first to struggle to his feet, sword drawn and swinging. He cut down an eastern man, but one of Jacuise's men cut his throat open with a crude blow and he fell to the ground, gurgling as he choked on his own blood._

_ Kili could hear his own screams in his ears as he leaped to his feet and attacked. It was of no use though as two more arrows brought him to his knees._

_ Ovren died with an arrow in his heart and Kili tried to stand, holding out his hand to his prone friend. A boot hit him in the shoulder and Kili was pushed onto his back. He found himself staring into the cruel black eyes of Jacuise. _

_ ''Why?'' He choked out, copper spreading over his tung like butter. _

_ ''Because the Wolf Pack is too dangerous to have on my tail,'' he smiled, all teeth. ''With my father dead the world is full of possibilities. My new allies only had one condition, and that was to kill the murderers of their king. So here I am.''_

_ ''Aaaah!'' Medow, stoic, brave Medow, was screaming. Kili couldn't see her, there were too many men milling about._

_ ''Medow!'' Kili cried, pain arising from his wounds as he struggled to stand. Her screams died down to sobs and Kili heard a man's grunt. His eyes turned back up to Jacuise, ''Don't let them touch her, tell them to stop.''_

_ ''Too late Raven,'' he smiled, ''much too late.''_

_All Kili could see was red. Red sky, red trees, red grass. Jariid was the only other one left alive, barely. His back had been flayed open and Kili could smell his blood. Jacuise was laughing, just laughing, like their blood tickled his feet. Kili's wrists were bleeding and as he tugged at them, straining to help Jariid as they approached him with the red prong, he slipped free. With wide eyes he looked around himself, no-one had noticed. Jariid's screams filled the air and Kili flinched. He had to save him. But how? With a heavy heart, he realized he couldn't. He needed to get back to his mother, he had promised her he would return. Jariid screamed again. Kili froze. He couldn't just leave him, could he? More than likely he wouldn't even make it home, his own injuries were great. But what if he did? What if he could? Jariid screamed. Kili took off running._

* * *

Azog stared at Kili, waiting for his answer.

''Yes, I'll help you.''


	6. Chapter 6

Kili knew he was playing the wrong game; knew it was only going to end in pain, but it was a chance he had to take. After The Wolf Pack had been _massacred, betrayed, left to rot like carcasses for Carian,_ Kili had spent five months in the wilderness avoiding capture ad trying to make his way back to Ered Luin. He'd survived three months until he was captured by a party of hunters.

* * *

_Kili was forced to his knees as laughter spread around the campfire. Irons were glowing red in the flames and Kili knew what they intended to do with them. He was already horribly injured from the beating, but there was still a deeper pain brewing just under the skin. The pain of grief and loss. The intense, white-hot pain of the irons burning into his back was nothing in comparison to the sound Jariid screaming and Medow crying. And the feeling of his own cowardice after he **ran. **He'd ran. _

_He'd almost been ready for death when he'd seen his opportunity, a breach in their guard. He'd killed them all, all twenty. After they were dead, he'd cut up their bodies and gutted them, leaving a strange, bloody artwork for whoever saw them next. He stole their supplies and disappeared into the night._

* * *

He'd spent two more months in the wilds before he returned to Ered Luin, where no one knew him as the Raven. Where he was just a spare prince without a kingdom. 

But now was his chance. And he was going to use it to its full capacity.

But he wasn't a clueless 'greenhorn'. 

_''Give me proof you have Jacuise in your possession," _ Kili asked Azog, in the midst of his camp. Orcs were milling about around them, not sparing a glance at them. 

_"Here, Raven," _Azog tossed a piece of cloth at the dwarf. It was the sewn badge from Jacuises cloak. 

_"Alright, here's our plan."_

* * *

Kili knew the paths that Thorin had planned and knew the terrain well. There would be no warning for the doom that was going to descend upon them. But... Azog would also not expect what was going to happen to him. There were only 45 orcs and half as many wargs in Azog's party, not a large amount. And Kili just needed one man, one man that Azog assured would be provided once Oakenshield was captured. Everything would work out perfectly or to hell with the consequences.

* * *

Fili stared at the dark cavern and couldn't help his heart sink. He had failed as a brother, and he couldn't turn around and redo it. He couldn't go back and search for him. Because how was an inexperienced young dwarf supposed to survive in the wilderness alone? And he'd left him after the search had proven fruitless. His mother would be so ashamed. 

"Lad?" Balin's voice carried across the cave. "You need to sleep."

"I cannot."

"Lad, I know you are having trouble with Kili, but--"

"But what? I should just forget him?"

"No, lad," Balin said quietly, "just, you have to move on."

Before Fili could respond, Thorin ordered silence and the company fell silent. 

The guilt kept Fili awake, but even so, when the noise of gears and levers creaking sounded out it felt like he was waking up. 

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think and be honest . This is the first fic I've posted so I'm kind of excited .


End file.
